He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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