I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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