If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize