ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Bring me that man meat
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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