God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
