all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
