There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
