The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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