I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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