And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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