I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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