So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
