in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I need water and some morals
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
