your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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