All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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