Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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