Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize
