Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize