At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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