yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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