So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
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At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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