No, you can still breathe under the balls.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
