So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
he just fucked me for my cheese.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
