He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
