Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
