You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize