youre lurking in front of me
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Be still, my beating vagina.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Drunk is not a location!
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
