weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
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