I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
