Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
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