So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
that may or may not have been my penis.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
