Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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