The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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