If i come over, it means nothing
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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