she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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