Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
She is in my trunk
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
