its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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