I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
