I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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