I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
