Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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