oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
