I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
you had me at cake vodka
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
