I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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