I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
