some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
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and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
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Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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