This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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