You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
