return my video game
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
