The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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