I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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