2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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