i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
