i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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