Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
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I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
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If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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