That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
