maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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