Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
zippers are such a cool invention
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
The best revenge is premature balding
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
