I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
My friends, they love my intelligence
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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