K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
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why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
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you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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