If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
