She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
