he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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