so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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